Why Finding Your Passion Can Be A Solution To A Quarter Life Crisis

You have finished your college degree, you already found some work that pays you well, you found someplace to live alone.

Now what? Should you move forward to pursue a master’s degree? Or accept the offer from a competitor and leave your comfort zone?

What if you leave all that behind and pursue your real passion? Or should you get your relationship to the next step and settle down?

As you ask yourself, what should you do next? It probably got you thinking: If life would be that easy.

As if life comes with manual instructions. As if life is a series of to-do lists that you have to do to feel whole.

There are a lot of questions that might be wandering on your mind in a while. That’s great, it means you care about your future. Some choose not to worry and live their life day by day. Or, as they say, “go with the flow.”

It’s okay not to have the answer to those questions that pops into your mind. If you ask other people, maybe they haven’t got the answer yet, and they are already in their 40s or 50s. Who knows?

However, having to think about it, it’s okay if it doesn’t change your quality of life, or making you less productive. But if the worry doesn’t go away after a few weeks, and you find yourself asking yourself questions like should I be better at this age?

Is this who I really am? What is the purpose of life? Or to be exact, what is the goal of yours, and what to do about it in the future, you might be experienced what the society calls: a quarter-life crisis.

Worry not my friend, you are not alone, 86% of millennials said that they experienced this quarter-life crisis. They felt insecure, disappointed, lonely, and sometimes it could lead to depression.

It’s not something to fear about. If you think of it in the right way, it can be a new start for your life. It can be a way to find out who you really are and what you really want, or in other words, a self-actualization. It can take your life to the next level.

What is A Quarter Life Crisis

It’s an emotional crisis that includes you feel a certain of emotions like sadness, isolation, a feeling that you are not enough, self-doubt, worry, unmotivated, confused, afraid of failure.

A period of intense soul-searching and stress occurring in your mid-20s to early 30s, as The Muse said.

It doesn’t mean QLC happens in a quarter of your life, but it occurs in a quarter of your adulthood.

Why A Quarter Life Crisis Happens

The trigger usually is a financial, relational, career, or value that you believe in. Sometimes when you become confused about what is the purpose of your life, you felt a particular emotion overflows you.

25 years old is supposed to be the time of opportunity before mortgages and marriage have taken their toll on you. However, anxieties about jobs, unemployment, debt, and relationships can lead to QLC.

Here are several signs when someone experiences a QLC:

• Start to question life
• Feeling stuck
• Less motivated
• Confused to go out from the comfort zone
• Unhappy with achievement
• Feeling restless
• Pressured

There are four phase of QLC:

1. Stuck in a situation, whether its work, relationship. You can leave, but you might feel you can’t.
2. Feeling that there might be a change. This will allow you to explore new chances and possibilities to your most authentic interest, preferences, or sense of self.
3. Building a new life
4. Commit to new interests, aspirations, or values that you believe in.

As Dr. Oliver Robinson (University of Greenwich) said, it can be a positive experience.

“The results will help reassure those who are experiencing this transition that it is a commonly experienced part of early adult life and that a proven pattern of positive change results from it,”

My Thoughts on Quarter Life Crisis

As for me myself, I spent one year doing well on a career I don’t really love. I performed well, I rarely got complaints from my colleagues or my boss. The paid was great, too, and I thought I could get somewhere if I choose to pursue this as my long life career.

I remembered I ask myself, is this kind of job I wanted to do for the rest of my life? Or should I try something new? How to choose the right path and make sure you don’t screw up? Should I learn more about accounting and excel at it? Should I try to learn programming? Or should I make my writing hobby as a living? The truth is, I don’t know. And that’s what scares me. There are a lot of things I wanted to do. A lot of things I wanted to try.

Wondering about stuff like that makes my mind spirals and spirals into some endlessness. I struggled. It’s like there are a lot of things to do and so little time. I didn’t want to waste my time. I didn’t want to lose chances.

I started to make a pros and cons list about my job back then. What I will gain and what I will lose if I choose to pursue that. The plus sides: the salary was great, and I was in my comfort zone. The minus sides are: it’s not what I love, and I don’t feel fulfilled doing it. It felt like a chore. I realize, deep down, I don’t feel like it. I don’t feel happy. Sure, I have done all the tasks given to me. But, I think a job or a career is not just about the paycheck. I remember reading some words online about “Do What You Love and Love What You Do.” And I wanted to feel that.

I wanted to be able to talk about what I am doing with passion. I wanted to work all night without feeling burned out because when you do things you love, you feel content. You will feel fulfilled. I wanted to wake up every single day feeling grateful that I do something I love, and I can make a living for it. I wanted to live a life I will be proud of. I wanted to come to terms with the fact even though many obstacles will come and it might get hard in the future, but it will be worth it in the end, because I love what I do.

“Take the risk or lose the chance.”

And so I did. I started to be honest to myself. I decided to do the things I love. To do the things that felt right. I made a hard decision. I left my old job. I know writing is my passion. I don’t feel burn out whenever I have to stay late to write for my overseas clients. I feel happy talking about it. I feel content.

I remember I was jobless for two weeks. I spent those weeks for a solitude time (even though I was also searching for a job after the first week). But I didn’t feel rushed, I just went through with it. Back then, it was scary because I didn’t know if it was the right choice. But, right now, I am lucky enough to say that dreams do come true. It was worth it. I used to write for fun, now I write for a living.

As for you who are still struggling and finding out how to solve this, here are some tips I can tell you.

How To Solve Quarter Life Crisis

Find and get to know yourself

Ask yourself who you really are.

What’s your purpose?

What’s your cause?

What’s your belief?

What are your values?

As Mark Manson said, you are what you value, this means you cannot talk about self-improvement without also talking about values.

When you need to find yourself, this means you see your values. Your identity, the aggregation of something you value. So, find out what you value, what matters to you. And why you appreciate it. An excellent value is evidence-based (it must be considered and reasoned), constructive (value things that enhance ourselves and others.), and controllable (don’t value things that are outside your control).

Some examples of ethical, healthy values: honesty, building something new, stand up for others

Wrong values: dominating others through manipulation or violence, not being alone, being rich, being center of attention.

Be open to possibilities

Try new things. See how you feel after that. It can be writing, jogging, volunteering, a new job, or maybe a little side business. You might be surprised at how random things can make you happy.

And don’t let your degree limit you to do things you want. Just because you major in finance doesn’t mean you can’t be a graphic designer. You can be anything you want. Learn new things.

Opening your mind to the possibility of a different path is the first (and hardest) part.

Plan B? You can always go back to the skill you have.

Don’t repressed all your feelings.

Talk to your friend, share your thoughts. Or better find a mentor to guide you or someone who you can be completely honest with.

Stop comparing yourself

Maybe you see your other colleagues is more successful than you, perhaps they get paid more than you, or maybe your boss likes them better. Or maybe your new friend seems more happy than you because she has a husband who loves her and they go traveling at least three times a year.

Does it mean you are less successful?

Does it mean you are less happy?

Don’t let other people define who you are.

Make a life plan

Force yourself to think, where do you see yourself in 5 years? Or in 10 years?

Break down a list of things you must do to achieve that goal.

Do something

Rather than sitting down worrying all day long, do something. Focus on wellness and decision making. You can do some research of your interest and have a glimpse of things you have to do.

Some advice…

Remember, look at the bright side! When you are in your 20s to 30s, you are in good health, you don’t have as many responsibilities as you are in your 40s or 50s later, and you are still able to explore many opportunities and chances that are thrown at you.

However, if you still struggling, it’s okay to seek help. You can always consult with a family, friend, or better a mental health professional like a psychologist or psychiatrist.