Why You Shouldn’t Let People Define Who You Are

Talking about personality, what comes into your mind? You might think of 16 Myers Brigg Personality, with all Introvert-Extrovert, Sensing-Intuition, Thinking-Feeling, Judging-Perceiving. Or you used the Four Temperament Test such as sanguine, choleric, melancholic, and phlegmatic to define your personality. Or maybe you are the kind who is into astrology and believe how the stars and planets have an influence on how your personality and life.

Well, to be honest, there is nothing wrong with that. Personally for me if I have to define myself by all those tests, I will come up as:

• INFJ
• Melancholic — Choleric
• Aries

While those are some examples of tools and reading that you can do, it’s not all you are, right? I mean, you sure you can find out to know and learn more about your personality. It is a good thing. By knowing your personality, you might understand your potential as well. However, since we live in a world full of people, some might not agree with the result.

For example, if I ask my colleagues what they think of me, they might think I am a strict person but deliver the tasks well. While my best friends think that I am a kind and goofy person. Strangers might think of me as a shy and distant person.

This is because, somehow, we are taught to adapt well in a certain condition. How you talk and how you behave in front of your parents surely is different when you are with friends. The same things apply when you are with a lover or colleagues. These very same things also apply to another person as well.

These might not be a problem if the labels are good and positive. I don’t mind being labeled as smart. But I’m sure don’t feel well when being labeled as a nerd. Or if you label someone as a criminal just because that person has broken the law.

Nowadays, truths to be told, we label people all the time. We might think of someone as a bully or a pushover, the nerd or the jock, the prep or the gangsta, the freak or the snitch, the genius, or the loser.

Bad labeling is the main problem. Heck sometimes, good labeling might put pressure on us to be good or look good, be smart or be funny all the time. It might not be a problem if you or the person being labeled doesn’t mind it and don’t care about what people think. But that can’t be 100% true, right? The problem is when they believe its the truth, and they think they can’t change it.

What I am trying to say is, for me, we can’t really define ourselves by what people are labeling us. In fact, we are the ones who can define ourselves. For me, the closest thing we can find about our personality is how we behind closed doors. How we choose to behave when nobody’s looking.

Every day we are given a choice on how to react. How to think. How to handle things. While these don’t define us right away. This will shape our personality — day by day. Time gets by, and our reaction, our thoughts will consistently mold into our personality.

What we choose to do will make a difference in how we live.

Remember, we are not what they label us.

In fact, how we live now is based on the things we do in the past. And how we live in the future is based on the things we choose now.

While I agree with all the tests and my bestfriends opinions (because sometimes they are right!). But, I don’t let them define me. For the good labeling, I am thankful for them and try to maintain all the goodness. For the bad labeling, I tried to be better and improve myself if it’s true. But if it’s not, I know the truth and simply don’t let it get the best of me.

I believe I am more than I am.

I am not just a colleague or worker.

I am a friend.

I am a daughter.

I am a lover.

So, what are you going to choose?

Are you going to let all the bad labels define who you are?

Or are you the one in charge of your true self, your personality, your future?

This story is made for 30 Days Writing Challenge

Day 1: My Personality